Breaking Point

I don't want to go anywhere...
I don't want to do anything...
I don't want to study anything...
I don't want to go class anymore...
I don't want to borrow car from anyone...

I don't know what i should do...
I don't know where i should go...
I don't know why i am like this...
I don't know what am i doing...
I don't know why my life is like this...

Strong outside, weak inside...
Smile on the face, Tears inside the heart...

So be it....

Facing so many dark clouds, I have decided...

Not to care so much about other people reaction, walk with me or Fuck off...

Not to ask for so much anymore. If you want, you give. Going to save my saliva for better things...

Not to tolerate anymore, enough is enough. Faking 2 face, snake tongue don't test my patience...

Not to please everyone anymore. I am not the one you are praying to, for what waste my effort pleasing you...

Not to hide anything anymore. What i feel inside me, you will see it on my face or taste it...

Not to act strong and smile anymore. Being optimistic is good, it's time to draw a line on it...

I am exhausted, tired, sick of my life, reaching my limit...
It's time to left some for myself, become a human being...
Sun is not shining anymore, only dark clouds, waiting for a heavy long downpour...

Life's good

Life like this is just too nice... Can it be worst than this? Lets recap September... Miss out a holiday trip, lost a toenail, sprain my ankle, car accident, assignment pilling up, dealing with some SOTB... So many freaking dark clouds, i wonder if there is any silver lining in it...

Tired of seeing every plan messed up
Tired of trying to pleasing everyone
Tired of being stressed out everyday
Tired of being optimistic

I wonder when will i reach my limit...
Maybe i reach already, just didn't realize it...